I Must Have Been Crazy...Every part of me said that I was absolutely mad.  The thought of me going to church was as crazy as putting money into Cash Plus after the Fnancial Services Commission had locked them down.   But I had agreed to go with Peter. 

That fact was also bugging me.  Peter was the "uncoolest" guy at work, totally out of place.  His continued insistence on announcing that he was praying for us, and inviting us to Bible studies, really did not go down well with us.  After all, we were young men - well, young enough.  For us, right now was the time to talk about the fun things of life, like women, parties and sports.  O.K., sometimes serious things too: like investments and politics, and of course what the police should do with the criminals who are fast making our country an unlivable place.  We are quite concerned about our country too, and our families.  I have to think 'bout Jenny, my wife, and Pierce our son.   

But I'm not desperate enough to be seen going to Church with Peter, at least I don't want to seem that way. 

Fake LaughterBut Peter was the only one who seemed genuinely concerned when Jenny left me.  The other guys laughed and joked about me finally getting my freedom.  One even said he wished it was him: "Is a long time me want my wife leave.  But I can't get her to go."  He said this with a smirk on his face while the others cheered.

Peter had not joined in the "celebrations," but instead seemed to see the deep hurt lurking behind my laughter that barely broke forth from behind my teeth.  Unlike the other guys, he had known that Jenny and I had had a good thing for a while, and that we both doted on Pierce, now four.  He had also known of the difficulties our marriage faced when Jenny went through post-partum depression, and how we did not handle the challenges well,  to the extent that Jenny was now fed-up with my "misunderstanding" her struggles and my staying out later and later regularly. 

The truth is that her leaving should have been a relief.  Instead I found myself hiding from the guys this deep ache that would not go away.  The one thing I had sincerely hoped to avoid when we got married was now a reality; like all the men in my family, my marriage was now over.  And it hurt... bad, bad... and it caused me to think about so many other things in my life.  Somehow, the parties, women and money in the bank now seemed quite like... like nothing, to tell you the truth.